To Wed or Not to Wed
 

Just a thought. My chum is pregnant with her BF of 5 months. BF, as per her comments, is still immature and extremely childish, but is definitely a good looking bloke! She wants to marry him looking forward for a happy family...

Is getting pregnant a good reason for marrying the father of your child? Or tying the knot isn't always the best idea? Cheers

Re: To Wed or Not to Wed
 

Personally, I think "tying the knot" is not really the best idea. I know a lot of people, friends and relatives who did exactly this. Bad idea. A lot of them got separated after a couple of years. I am NOT saying this is what would happen to your friend. Anyway, I think they should try raising the baby together, and if it works well in the end, they love each other then getting married will be really nice but not when the partners in the marriage are still immature.

Re: To Wed or Not to Wed
 

Thanks Abigail. The other day we met after work. She's looking good with the bump for sure. I advised her not to take the plunge just yet, of course I didn't tell her that their post-wedding life could be unpleasant due to his bf's immaturity, but told her to wait after she gives birth. Chum wants to get married ASAP. I know giving her bf a chance to "grow up" is also a good idea, but I've been telling her to please give her decision some time.

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Whatever decision she makes is none of your business. Once you've given her a piece of your mind and that's enough. You couldn't change her let alone decide for her. As a responsible adult she should be ready enough to face the consequences of her choices. Getting married isn't always tagged as a "happily married", but come the time she chooses this path, I know she will overcome whatever is ahead of her. I was a divorcee too and I know the pains of it. Also, give the guy a chance. Who knows? The guy might change or grow up into a hubby or dad your best friend wants him to be. But then again everything in life has risks. And let your friend savor those moments, and learn from them. :)

NO!!!
 

Not a good idea to marry that guy. :rolleyes:
I could relate to that coz me and my ex-boyfriend broke up 2 weeks after learning the news that we're pregnant. No surreal thingies we usually see on pregnant couples on movies. Prior to my getting pregnant, our relationship didn't and won't ever work out due to our differences... So before marrying that guy, your friend should know if she could tolerate him or not!

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Not a good idea! Marriage is sacred and fulfilling but it isn't always a solution to problems, especially if a baby is on the way. I think women nowadays could cope up with a firm decision.

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Can't help but agree.

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If being in a domestic partnership is ok with her, then she should go for it. Give him a chance and time as well. If after several months from the baby was born he's still acting sucky, then might as well say goodbye to her baby's daddy....

Re: To Wed or Not to Wed
 

You know we are on the same situation. But we're not really getting married and all those stuff. BF and I think that we should live together, but his heroin addiction makes that a little impossible. I don't want to be living with a guy who's an addict. But we will definitely solve this before any decision should be made. Trust yourself hun. Be strong. We need to do so for our kids...

Re: To Wed or Not to Wed
 

You've made your point Gaetana. I'm not really going gaga over their business but I'm just overly concerned with my best friend and of course the baby. I love her and treat her as my own sister. I think they haven't really confirmed if they'll wed or not but the chances of them getting married is quite high. You're right, whatever her decision is she's accountable to that. And I just hope she does pick the right choice. :(

Re: To Wed or Not to Wed
 

Thanks to your replies. :)

@Abana- I've suggested about the domestic partnership and I think it's one of her options moving forward.

Re: To Wed or Not to Wed
 

I admire your concern for your friend but please don't feel so stressed about it. Getting married isn't a sure way to happiness. Domestic partnership is the best choice in her situation. It's expensive to get married, so does getting a divorce. Not only a financial burden but also more on an emotional strain. They should live together and raise their own family, face whatever issues they have. Time can only tell if their relationship will work or not. We can only pray that everything will be for the good of the baby.

Re: To Wed or Not to Wed
 

I agree with the above comments. Though some might find the idea of domestic partnership a little taboo, I still believe that it does help in testing the waters first before jumping something huge like a marriage itself.

Re: To Wed or Not to Wed
 

Marriage isn't something that your friend could easily dump if something turns out not right. But if she and her guy feel that they could face whatever challenges that would come along their way with strength and patience, then I guess they are on the right path. As for me, give it a year or two before tying the knot. Very expensive to get married and the same goes in filing for a divorce! :(

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Exactly! Unless of course you're a type of couple who has the funds and all, then it wouldn't be an issue. But the financial hassle isn't only the issue. It's how the kid/s get affected by the separation and the effects of it that'll manifest later on in their lives that concerns me.

Re: To Wed or Not to Wed
 

I second. It's also the same reason as to why I've chosen to give my beau a chance to live with me despite his heroin addiction. Like giving it a last shot if it works. All for the baby.

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And you've got the right attitude and judgement in doing so Halia. Good job!

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In the end, it's all about what's best for the baby :)

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That's a very big risk you have taken. But I respect you for that. I wish all will turn out well for you and your baby.

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@ Daja and Gemma - Thanks for those encouraging words. :)

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I agree. The welfare of the kids should be the first and topmost concern.

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Domestic partnership is a great idea given their situation. It's better to test the waters first before jumping into something as serious as marriage just like that.

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Soooo true Abana! And getting divorced is a hassle :p

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I agree. Domestic partnership is a practical way in deciding on whether to give marriage a go or not.

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You're right. Not only a hassle paper-wise, but it's costly and emotionally draining especially if there are kids getting involved. So sad...

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True. It's very practical and it is an efficient way to know if you're willing to embrace the good and not-so-good side of your man.

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How many years would you opt for a domestic partnership? I figured, 2 years max is ok.

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I second! 2 years. Make it 3 if you get to be engaged in your 2nd year for wedding plans and all.

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I agree 2 to 3 years! Oh, how I wish I'd get married with a man who'd love and treat me and my bubs right... soon!!

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Who knows Idalia? Your current bf would be that man you're referring to. You're an amazing girl so I bet you'd find him!

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For sure you will Idalia. :)

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It will come :)

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I'm guessing you've already found him Idalia.

Re: To Wed or Not to Wed
 

Aww, Idalia, for sure that bloke will come or may be the one you have right now. Open your eyes dear! :)