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Halia 12-08-2012 09:53 AM

my baby's daddy is an addict
 
Just last week, I found out that my bf is has heroin addiction. I just found out from his sister who happens to be my schoolmate. As you all know, my parents want us to be together prior to our baby's arrival. I just didn't want to. I admit, saying yes did cross my mind afterwards. But now that I found out about his using of heroine, nay!! His sis told me that my bf wants to live with me and he also said to his family that I'm being immature coz I prefer staying with my mum and dad. I love him but his past fidelity issues and his heroin addiction are the main reasons I have for not wanting to live with him. I know myself and I won't bear the stress alongside my pregnancy and studies. He also spent his whole paycheck for this addiction and drinking sprees... :(:(

What should I do? If I live with him and we'll become a "happy" family, you think his fidelity issues and heroine addiction will stop? Or better to stay with our current arrangement?

Cailyn 12-08-2012 11:41 PM

Re: my baby's daddy is an addict
 
In my own opinion, I think your decision is logically right. You will not benefit from the stress that you would get living with an addict. Wishing that the addiction AND fidelity issues would stop is just that... wishful thinking. You have no guarantee whatsoever, and you cannot get it that it would stop.

Abigail 12-11-2012 06:31 AM

Re: my baby's daddy is an addict
 
Fidelity issues and addiction is not really the formula to a 'happy family'... It would be best if these issues are resolved first before you live together...

Daja 12-15-2012 09:52 PM

Re: my baby's daddy is an addict
 
There's nothing immature about staying with your parents if you think it would be better for your baby.

Cadelaria 12-22-2012 10:20 PM

Re: my baby's daddy is an addict
 
I'm so sorry that you have to go through all that stress during your pregnancy. I myself still think that being pregnant is difficult even though I have my hubby all the way. It is best to handle this situation with an open mind and weigh things up to know which options should be the best for you. I don't see any problem with you staying with your folks especially now that you're expecting. But you can't also avoid to think about your bf's rights to his child. Talk to him. Give him a chance to deal with this "with you". Straighten things out. And decide from there. Be rest assured that you have your family, friends, and us here :) to be with you every step of the way too. Take care dear!

Halia 12-27-2012 10:12 PM

Re: my baby's daddy is an addict
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Abigail (Post 720)
Fidelity issues and addiction is not really the formula to a 'happy family'... It would be best if these issues are resolved first before you live together...

I so agree with you. At first I would really say NO but I have this pain or pang of guilt several days after that. I felt so sad. This weekend we'll definitely talk, just the two of us..

Halia 12-27-2012 10:16 PM

Re: my baby's daddy is an addict
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Cadelaria (Post 850)
I'm so sorry that you have to go through all that stress during your pregnancy. I myself still think that being pregnant is difficult even though I have my hubby all the way. It is best to handle this situation with an open mind and weigh things up to know which options should be the best for you. I don't see any problem with you staying with your folks especially now that you're expecting. But you can't also avoid to think about your bf's rights to his child. Talk to him. Give him a chance to deal with this "with you". Straighten things out. And decide from there. Be rest assured that you have your family, friends, and us here :) to be with you every step of the way too. Take care dear!

Thanks for those comforting words Cadelaria. I can't imagine how this problem should be happening. Yes, we have agreed to talk and discuss about this. I'm sure we could talk about a set-up where we would live together as a trial. And you're right, we'll go from there. Easier to leave him while the baby isn't born yet.

Fanny 01-19-2013 09:10 PM

Re: my baby's daddy is an addict
 
I apologize for hearing that Halia. I just wish you could resolve this issue. Hoping that whatever your decision is the baby is your topmost priority. Good luck Halia. All the best.

Idalia 01-24-2013 01:44 AM

Re: my baby's daddy is an addict
 
If I were you I'll ditch him coz he might make my pregnancy difficult, worrying about a beau who's an addict. Apologies dear but seems like that isn't going to be advisable. If you discuss about it, please be firm enough to say what you think and speak up on what your final decision is. Hugs.

Daja 01-26-2013 09:17 PM

Re: my baby's daddy is an addict
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Idalia (Post 1591)
If I were you I'll ditch him coz he might make my pregnancy difficult, worrying about a beau who's an addict. Apologies dear but seems like that isn't going to be advisable. If you discuss about it, please be firm enough to say what you think and speak up on what your final decision is. Hugs.

This is sooo true...

Cadelaria 01-30-2013 01:54 AM

Re: my baby's daddy is an addict
 
Hope you've already come up on a decision that you believe is the best for your baby Halia. Good luck.

Edda 02-12-2013 02:19 AM

Re: my baby's daddy is an addict
 
How's it going girl? Hope you've figured out what's indeed best for you and your baby.

Fanny 02-14-2013 09:19 PM

Re: my baby's daddy is an addict
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Idalia (Post 1591)
If I were you I'll ditch him coz he might make my pregnancy difficult, worrying about a beau who's an addict. Apologies dear but seems like that isn't going to be advisable. If you discuss about it, please be firm enough to say what you think and speak up on what your final decision is. Hugs.

I get your point but I think it should be best if Halia gives him a chance or more of a "test run" so she'll know if things will work out or not. As the saying goes, better to fix things than throw them away.

Halia 02-19-2013 10:28 PM

Re: my baby's daddy is an addict
 
Ladies, thank you so much for all the support you've been giving me through these comments. I appreciate them. I know you've all been waiting for the BIG news, haha. Well, here it goes...

We have resolved the issue and finally came up to a decision which I believe is the best for each one of us. We've decided to live together. I know most of you were shocked as a lot of my friends did. I thought I needed to give him a chance too. It is also a way for me to really know how we could handle the family life with a problem. You see, having a family life isn't a bed of roses, so why not deal with this first issue we had to face? I know this will involve a great deal of hope, disappointment and pressure but I think it's best to deal with it now so as to solve his addiction ASAP. The thought of leaving him also pains me - the regret of giving him a chance to change and giving our child a chance to have a dad around. Not to mention the fact that I robbed the three of us the chance to have a strong united family. This is my sacrifice. I swallowed my pride, I gave up my preference to leave him, I had to face the comments of my family and friends- everything, even my liberty. But I feel this is the right thing to do. And all for our baby, I'll blood try.

Idalia 02-22-2013 04:40 PM

Re: my baby's daddy is an addict
 
I admire your guts Halia!
You've made your point. Fine. But whatever happens, live by these words:

"Expect the worst and hope for the best."

Good luck

Abana 02-23-2013 12:12 AM

Re: my baby's daddy is an addict
 
Wanna congratulate you for the courage you've shown by making a firm decision! With those words, I'm sensing a maturity and intelligence going on here brought about by having a baby... ;) Seriously, you made us all proud. Whatever happens, no regrets, stand up and face the world confidently and with strength. Good luck Halia. Way to go for a young mom like you.

Adalira 03-02-2013 11:08 AM

Re: my baby's daddy is an addict
 
Oh we wish you and your family life only the best! You're a strong woman, you'll get through this. And no matter what, we're here for you. :)

Halia 09-24-2013 10:12 PM

Re: my baby's daddy is an addict
 
Thanks for the kind words ladies. They're heartwarming!

Idalia 09-26-2013 01:05 AM

Re: my baby's daddy is an addict
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Halia (Post 4430)
Thanks for the kind words ladies. They're heartwarming!

Glad you're back on track. Hope everything just gets better. Love you girl!

Halia 11-29-2013 07:33 PM

Re: my baby's daddy is an addict
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Idalia (Post 4447)
Glad you're back on track. Hope everything just gets better. Love you girl!

Indeed everything is falling to its proper place now. I couldn't imagine that I had to get through my bf's withdrawal period alongside my sensitive pregnancy. Whew! But indeed, everything's worth fighting for. This is my family we're talking about!

Dalinda 12-28-2013 01:16 AM

Re: my baby's daddy is an addict
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Halia (Post 2146)
Ladies, thank you so much for all the support you've been giving me through these comments. I appreciate them. I know you've all been waiting for the BIG news, haha. Well, here it goes...

We have resolved the issue and finally came up to a decision which I believe is the best for each one of us. We've decided to live together. I know most of you were shocked as a lot of my friends did. I thought I needed to give him a chance too. It is also a way for me to really know how we could handle the family life with a problem. You see, having a family life isn't a bed of roses, so why not deal with this first issue we had to face? I know this will involve a great deal of hope, disappointment and pressure but I think it's best to deal with it now so as to solve his addiction ASAP. The thought of leaving him also pains me - the regret of giving him a chance to change and giving our child a chance to have a dad around. Not to mention the fact that I robbed the three of us the chance to have a strong united family. This is my sacrifice. I swallowed my pride, I gave up my preference to leave him, I had to face the comments of my family and friends- everything, even my liberty. But I feel this is the right thing to do. And all for our baby, I'll blood try.

Wow, this is something great to know about. Good luck Halia and hope all of you are doing just fine.


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