Am I more likely to get pregnant if my husband wears boxers rather then briefs?
~Yes, but you’ll have an even better chance if he doesn’t wear anything at all.
Are birth control pills deductible?
~Only if they don’t work.
What is a chastity belt?
~A labor-saving device.
Should I have a baby after 35?
~No, 35 children are enough.
Can a mother get pregnant while nursing?
~Yes, but it’s much easier if she removes the baby from her breast and puts him to sleep first.
My husband and I are very attractive. I’m sure our baby will be beautiful enough for commercials. Whom should I contact about this?
~Your therapist.
I’m two months pregnant now. When will my baby move?
~With any luck, right after he finishes high school.
How will I know if my vomiting is morning sickness or the flu?
~If it’s the flu, you’ll get better.
Since I became pregnant, my breasts, rear-end, and even my feet have grown. Is there anything that gets smaller during pregnancy?
~Yes, your bladder.
What is the most common pregnancy craving?
~For men to be the ones who get pregnant.
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